Current Temp:  70
Current Mood: 

I laid in bed this morning and listened to Ty. We bought him and Rory some "jump in the mud" shoes at Target, and they are very excited about this. I hear him get the shoes off the couch where I had removed the tags and such and then run into the bedroom where he went to wake up Rory.

"Rowie, get up! Look at da shoes!"

She starts crying, because she cries when her sleep is disturbed.

"No Rowie, dont cry! See? Dont cry, look at the jumpindamud shoes!"

I hear him jump on his bed a couple of times.

"See? Gimme da feet, I put on you."
"Shoosh" she says.
"See? You got da wady bugs and I got da froggies, jump Rowie, jump!"

I hear them both jumping and giggling.

"Wake up Wade!"
"Murrrrh."
"Waaaaade! Get up!"
"Murh!"
"Come on Wade see our shoes!"

He like totally grew up. I take away his diaper and he starts being more like a kid instead of a toddler. Last night when we were at Target, he had no accidents, and he told us when he had to go. David rushed him to the potty and he went. I let him pick out whatever underwear he wanted. He requested the Nascar ones only because the Cars ones were gone. Plus we already have Cars ones at home. And when you ask him if he is a big boy he says

"Unerwaaaaaaare!"

And man are they obsessed with these golashas.  Now all we need is some rain so they can actually jump in the mud puddles instead of overnight sprinkler runoff. 

David took a little of the extra money we had and got himself some decent suits since he has no nice clothes, and hes looking for a job, so he needs something respectable to wear to interviews and such.    All of the nice shirts we bought him for Staters kindof have bloodstains on them, what with the meat and what not that he would be working with in the meat department.  Every guy needs a suit, espessally if hes in the working world.  Target is an excellent place to purchace suit stuff, he got a jacket, pants, 2 shirts and 2 ties for $100, and theyre nice looking too!  He looks sharp.   

"Look at meh...it looks like I have a sweatty hog in mah pants."

"No...its more like you look like you dont live in apartment and maybe you might know what time it is."

"Where could I go in this?"

"You could go to an important business meeting.  Or to Starbucks.  You could go to Applebees and order a scotch on the rocks and the whiskey steak with mushroom sauce.  You could go to an interview and bring a laptop and your portfolio with you!"

"Yeah...like totally."

"You look like maybe you use a credit card to fill your gas tank."

"Woah."

"You look like you drive like...a super sonic Civic, instead of our 10 year old rice burner Civic.  Or a Prius.  You look like you deffinatley drive a Prius."

"Yeah...gas mileage.  I want my MPG."

"You look like youre concerned about gas mileage, thats why you bought the Prius.  And you look like you might be thinking about your 401K."

"Whats a 401K anyway?"

"I dont know, but I think only rich people have them.  So you look like you would have a 401K."

"Sweet."

Jen's mom bought my brother two suits at Mens Warehouse.  Cost a whopping $700, and I bet he wont even wear them anymore.  My brother...he had some shrooms.  He went crazy the other day because he had some shrooms.  Im not talking shitake here, I mean shrooms. My brother aparantly had gotten ahold of some of these the week that he...well...went psycho.  Everyone Jen has talked to who was hanging out with him said that he was eating them like candy.  Now, I dont know how much you know about shrooms, but the long and short is that in small ammounts, they do things to you.  Larger ammounts cause audible and visual haluscinations.  He ate them like candy.  And yes, you can OD on them and yes, they are poison.  He basically poisoned himself. 

This may have been what made him believe in this King Stuart stuff. 

The account from his friends who were with him the night that he ended up on a bridge for six hours say that he was acting...well a bit strange.  They said that he demanded them all to call him King Stuart.  Then when they went to the restraunt, things got worse.  He stepped ahead of everyone and put his name in as King Stuart, then when she called him, she said just Stuart.  He told her that she did it wrong, yelled at her that she had to go back and ANNOUNCE it again as "King Stuart and guests."  He walked with his nose turned up, and sat...well I guess..."royally."  He sat at the end of the table, and announced that dinner was on him because they were such good friends. 

Then there was the thing with the cake.  Yeah, there was a thing with the cake.  I guess one of his friends was having a bad time with his dinner and was back and fourth to the bathroom the whole time.  The first time she brought the cake, he told her that she did it wrong, that shes disobeying him because she has to wait until ALL of his friends were at the table.  Long story short, he made her take it back 3 times.  THEN he demanded a new cake because she let the ice cream melt.  Thats when the manager came over and asked them to pay their ticket and leave.  Sometime after that, they took off leaving him there, and thats when he was asked to leave by the security guards.  He went to go sit on the bridge to "talk to god" and the rest is history. 

He poisoned himself.  Basically, none of us, including his lawyer thinks he was actually suicidal, the general concensus is that he wanted attention and that he wasnt all there when he did it.  Unfortunatley, court was today, and they had to push it back because he wasnt there.  He wasnt there because the hospital is keeping him for another week.  That means they know hes crazy.  Hes playing this "Im afraid of you" thing with Jen, and blames Jen for giving the cops my number that morning.  What was she supposed to do?  Ok...HE asked about the baby, so doesnt it make complete sence to give the cops the number of the person who is taking care of her?  Hes mad because I told the truth, and he is now telling Jen that hes not talking to her until she gets me and my sister to call the hospital and tell them that he DOESNT believe in the government stuff. 

She called me last night crying.  Shes cleaning that house, getting it ready for the new carpet thats coming, and her friend was there painting.  She said it all just hit her because she was cleaning their bedroom, the one that the three of them shared.  She said that she found that there had been some kind of water leakage in there (nobody has been living there in about 3 weeks since theyve started construction) and that a bunch of Rory's clothes and toys were ruined.  She said she found stuff that her and my brother had bought her for when she came back. 

"I dont know, he was doing so good, he had so many people believing in him that he could do this.  He was going to get a job and we were going to throw her a party when she got home.  He was stepping up to be a dad finally and then he just threw it all away by taking all those shrooms.  He messed things up, and I just dont know what to do."

The good news is that I think she may finally be willing to end their relationship.  I told her that by staying with him, shes showing her daughter that its ok for men to treat women that way, and by that way I mean...well...hes emotionally and mentally abusive.  He also abuses himself.  You know, he may not ever have physically hurt Rory.  She wasnt in any danger like that, but in the long run, I mean who wants to see their dad go to the crazy house because he had too many magic mushrooms? 

The bad news is that he wasnt at the visit today either.  Luckily, Jen was able to take his hour, and she was able to have a 2 hour visit.  But when all was said and done and we were getting back to the car, Jen was carrying her and she started asking, clear as a bell,

"Wheres Daddy?"

"Daddy couldnt make it today.  He will be here next week, I promise.  Your daddy loves you."

"My Daddy..."

"Can you tell me bye bye" Jen said as she buckled her in. 

"Bye bye Mommy.  Bye Bye."

I could tell that this was one of the more emotional goodbyes.  Sometimes goodbye is a happy time and Rory is all smiles and so is Jen, but this time it was sad. 

"Maybe Rory will call you on the phone later Mommy, I think that would be ok now, since shes a little more use to...ya know."

"Yeah...maybe."

All I know is that when and if he ever gets out, he will say that the government was keeping him there because he knows too much.  No Richard, the doctors kept you because youre crazy.  The bumper sticker on the back of his truck advertises InfoWars.com.  Ill advertise that here so you can all see what I mean when I refer to his conspiracy bullshit.  That website...thats what he believes in.  Let me know what you think of that. 

Anyway, I need to get started on laundry.  I was shopping/comparing all of those portable washers that hook to the sink (since we dont have laundry hook ups here) and Ive decided that they are a HUGE waste of money.  Like...the ones that are in the $200 range hold 1 cubic foot of clothes.  The only decently sized one was $479 at Sears, and people we arent spending that kind of money on a portable washing machine.  You can get the damn regular ones for like $250, and they hold alot more!  Waste.  I somehow ended that "Im being a good wife by saving his money rather than buying something frivolous" with a damn wash basin.  Im fucked. 

Pray for me. 

Current Temp: 70
Current Mood:

In celebrity news, because 80% of the google search hits to my blog have been for "Suri Cruise" or "Brittneys baby," I will tell you that Brittney named her kid Sutton Pierce. What the fuck? And check this out, its a really offensive Mel Gibson drunk driver game. I say its offensive because theres Jewish music in the background and a rabi who throws stars at you...oh and you get to run down state troopers. But if youre up for a laugh...

I havent heard from Jen in a few days. Ive decided not to call her either. Now, she was fired, yes...but there are two sides to every story. Jen does sleep alot, I mean Ive mentioned before about her blaming Rory for keeping HER up all night, that Rory is the insomniac, but Ive had Rory for 2 months now, and I think the latest shes ever been up was 11, and she sleeps through till about 7 in the morning. Most of the time I can get them both down around 8 or 9, so thats not bad AT ALL. Well, Jen's shifts were starting at like 9 in the morning, and it is really hard for her to wake up. Mainly because she stays up until 6. Sometimes shes being productive, and sometimes shes just fighting with my brother or something random like that.

The other day her lawyer told her that the CPS people were going to do a suprise inspection on their house, didnt know when, but they would more than likely drop by before the trial. Cookie used the money her husband left her to completley gut the place, I mean she is putting down new carpet, new paint, new tile, everything. I know that Jen was going to be there painting the apartment all this week so they could get the house ready for inspection, and the day that she was asked to turn in her plastic name badge and hokey tie, she may have been up too late that night painting.

I havent talked to her, but David did, and she told him that she was going to call Lee and try to get her job back. She told him that she was "trying not to get angry." Shes in anger management now, and really trying to improve herself and work on her temper. Infact, shes been trying to get into these classes for a while, a few months before Rory was taken, so this isnt just to please the courts. Ive decided to let her call me because well...I dont know that shes ok. She keeps telling me that she feels like shes being tested, and that something is working against her. I dont think its a test, I think its just life. I think that it finally just all caught up with her that she has to be an adult, and things suck when youre a growed-up. Its a terrible lesson for anyone to have to learn, but here we are, right? Living in the grown up world and getting up in time to go to work. But like David said, "CPS is hard to work with, and ultimatley theyre the reason she lost her job, because she was probably stressing to get the house clean." Thats another theory.

However, I did ask my pal David to tell me some dirt on the store...fucker's got nothin'. The store is clean as a whistle mostly. No vermon, no weird bugs or mold...just a few minor things I would like to tell the Staters shoppers (and random googlers) about.

1. Never buy the seafood at the Beaumont Stater Bros. The woman who runs the seafood department will order too much of the sale item, say an entire palate of king crab. They sell two king crabs. So she freezes them, then 6 months later trys to sell them again. She orders too much of everything, and will try to sell you the stuff that expires TODAY, but not tell you that its expiring. Also, David once sliced open a trout and found a long clear wiggly worm in it. Stater Bros seafood is questionable at best, because when things turn green, they just mark it down and sell it to some sucker.

2. When it comes to dropping entire trays of expensive meat, David says that he was trained to throw it away, but was "told" to pick it up and sell it.

3. If you care, the milk box (the fridge that they keep the milk and juice in) is covered in spilled rotting juice and milk and such, but it doesnt much matter to you since it doesnt effect what you buy.

4. The service deli at the Stater Bros located in Beaumont is on the health departments shit list. Imagine a floor covered in grease, food left out too long, a girl who stores her belt where they put the cheese, nobody has food handlers permits (which the meat department does have) chicken thats been frozen so long that they dont know how old it is, and food being left under the heat lamps overnight. Just a few of the many reasons that you should question the deli.

Other than that, its an excellent place to shop. It is not, however, an excellent place to work...not anymore. Pre strike, it was great. Then they fucked up the pay and changed the rules around. Its really hard to get an advancement there. So shop there, but dont work there. And frankly, Im not all that impressed with the union thing, but meh.

Halloween is coming up, did you know that? Ive known for a while, because I reeeeeeally like this time of year. Its been so crispy cool here and Im getting excited. I get to bake more and such, and play dress up with the chilluns for their costumes. I love doing themes you know, like last year when we did the chef and the lobster...


This year since we will probably still have Rory, and even if we dont we will probably trick or treat all together we are doing it Neverland style. Thats right, Wade will be Peter Pan, Ty will be Captian Hook and Rory will be Tink. And because I like to be fair, we will ofcorse leave an unguarded bowl of candy outside for the kids who come by.

Oh youre calling me stupid? Whats that? The little shits will steal the whole bowl? I beg to differ. Let me tell you something, people behave alot differently when you put a sign up saying theres a camera watching them. How do I know this? Because we did it last year and we came home to a few pieces of candy still in our bowl. It was an experiment really, and it worked. And now that Im more familiar with using video hosting sites and editing clips and what not, I do infact have...yes...the footage of last years Halloween candy bowl. I give you...


This is one of those ones that you should really sit and let load if youre on a slow connection, its well worth it to see my neighbor reach out for the candy a few times, then decide not to take it because hes scared of the camera. And comment and rate it, I plan for this to become a trend this year. Maybe it will be on the news or something...that would be awesome. Or maybe some parent will get angry with me because I put videos of their kids trick or treating on the internet. Oh well, most of them are wearing masks anyway, who cares. Its only perverted or wrong if you take pictures of them duking on your porch...which actually, if some kid DID duke on my porch I would want video of it to show the police...somehow I think that would backfire though. (no pun intended.)

I love video blogging though, I have to say that I wasnt much into it because I like writing more, but my good friend Connie does so many cute videos and it just makes it like bonus material. Its like the unrated Jerry Springer. Have any of you ever rented any of those? Or bought them? I never have, I think Ive watched the show a few times, but it mostly gets annoying after a while. Plus I dont think I WANT to see some of those people nekkid. Eew.

Unfortunatley, I dont have video, but I do have pictures of the fire that is about 3/4 of a mile from my house. I know...scary right? Im not worried, we have plenty of fire breaks between us and the flames, like the high school and the park. Theyll burn before us. And it looks like its burning over where a couple of Beaumont's finest sex offenders reside so score one for us! David was on location at his little recycling center about a block from here, putting him 3 blocks from the fire when he took these pics.


The problem though is that I cant get any official information on it right now because Blowmont is so small. They might mention it if it burns for more than a few hours tonight on the 10:00 news. Maybe I should be a tipster? Well...even without being a tipster, my MIL told me that its between Cherry Valley (upper Beaumont) and heading toward Calimesa. Basically, the road we take to get to their house is on fire. "Good luck with that" I told her. Theres alot of horse property there, infact she said she has friends in there...church folk I assume...but theres also lots of cows and other mooing livestalk over yonder. Im also very worried about the squad of little shetland ponies over there. You know, those teenie tiny little horses that can be seeing eye animals? Theres a whole pack of them over there, and I would be terribly upset should something happen to the little fuckers.

Luckily, her friend's horsies are ok, and the fire is heading away from them all. Its now heading for Calimesa, but its on the opposite side of the freeway from my brother Rob. Its mostly good, except for the people who live on the side where the fire is. It sucks for them.

Anyway, I plan to do alot more videos. The one problem I have is that my digi cam takes quicktime movies, and I cant use quicktime for Windows Movie Maker. Ive found converters, but quicktime is very hard to convert. It seems that it skips around a bunch and the sound doesnt convert right. Im working on obtaining Quicktime Pro, which will aparantly allow me to edit the videos myself through there...we shal see. The reason I have to edit some of them is because sometimes they are too large. That pisses me off when that happens.

Yesterday my preview copy of my book came in the mail. (Yeah IN YOUR FACE cocksucking troll.) Im not completley happy with it and Im revising it. Its just mainly minor stupid stuff, like the fucking typo that I missed on the back page...damnit. But it exists, and its going to be ready to buy soon. Its so exciting though! And I think I like this publisher for the most part, although I do want a few things fixed, they are pretty good. This one was mainly a test, but Ill be making more books, youll see. I will keep you posted.

For now, I have to go. Im acting as legal council for my friend the stripper. She works in a fully nude club and refuses to show her cookie, and she was fired because of it. This is the place that allows prostitution and such, so Im working on the case. Trust me, Im pretty much a lawyer.

*UPDATE:  This is what I got from the 10:00 news.  We were the first story!

Current Temp:  59

Current Mood: 

Stater Bro's Markets

21700 Barton Rd

Colton, CA

92324

To whom it may concern:

I am writing you regarding the service and treatment that I have received and continue to receive by the workers at your store #173, located at 1430 Beaumont Avenue, in Beaumont. I am married to a former Stater Bro's employee, who was with your company from February of 2004 to September 17th, 2006. His reason for leaving was somewhat related to the behavior and the attitude of the stores employees, but I would like to alert you of your employees behavior toward me as a customer, as I feel that if it is Stater Bro's policy to treat customers this way, an overhaul in the training program is necessary. I should hope that the employees were not trained this way, but made these poor decisions of their own accord. I am writing this now because I feel that had I notified someone while my husband was still employed by your company, he would have received severe repercussions.

My husband worked as a courtesy clerk from December of 04 until February of 06 when he was promoted to meat clerk at store #173. Previously he worked at Store #43 in Rialto and Store #86 in Beaumont. I was very excited about the brand new store built in Beaumont, it was very nice, very clean, and not too far from home. My husband was transferred there from #86 not too long after it opened. The first disturbing incident occurred when I was shopping a few days after I had just given birth to our second son. Because I had both of our children with me and was still weak from childbirth, I asked my husband, who was working at the time, to help me lift something heavy into my cart. He was in the area I was shopping in at the time. My husband was then called up to the managers office and told that he was not allowed to help me. My husband came back and informed me of this. When the manager, who is no longer at this store, came down from the office, I spoke with him and told him about my situation and he informed me that I was NOT a customer, and was not granted the same services that actual customers have because I am married to an employee. I asked him if it was possible for me to have another clerk help me and he told me that I would be wasting time, that the store was busy and all box help needed to be up front. I continued my shopping, but wasn't able to get all of the items that I needed. I should hope that it isn't store policy to treat a disabled person differently just because they are married to one of your employees.

While shopping at store #173 over the past year and a half I have also experienced very rude and unprofessional behavior from several store employees, including checkers and clerks throughout the store. For example, a woman named Sherri who works as a checker, would address my husband about me while I was standing next to him, such as asking in an extremely condescending tone, "Is your WIFE 21?" She also said things like "Tell your WIFE that the total is (insert dollar amount)." I have a hard time understanding why I could not have been addressed, and why I wasn't directly told the total. I don't see why she would have to ask him to tell me the total, as I thought her job was to serve me, the customer. Another checker who's name tag reads "Row-zee" asked fairly personal questions while I was checking out alone one day, such as why I feel that its ok that I "get to stay home" while my husband "works so hard to support our family." I am a stay at home parent by choice, and I don't feel that I need to justify why we choose this arrangement to the person who is checking my groceries. She asked me questions about when I planned to go back to work, and shook her head in disbelief when I told her that I wouldn't be returning to work. She then proceeded to tell me that I needed to get back to work in order to allow my husband to attend college. Again, I don't understand why the person who is checking my groceries is asking me these questions. I'm sure that there are a lot of stay at home parents who shop in this store, and I wonder if she asks these questions to them as well. As I was leaving, she began discussing me with the next customer in line. I was outraged. The following day my husband overheard Miss Row-zee speaking to the employees in the service deli, she said quote "He cant go to college because she's too lazy and she has too many fucking kids." When my husband approached her and asked her not to speak about his personal life, she informed him that she would say whatever she wanted to whoever she wanted. I find it unacceptable to speak about customers in such a manner, especially while on the clock. Do you pay your employees to insult your customers? Oh that's right, I'm not a customer, so I am fair game. Is this what I should be led to believe?

An incident occurred recently with a checker who's name I did not catch where she asked me about my age. I was purchasing my sons birthday cake, and she asked how old I was. Before I could answer, the man in line behind me jumped in and told the checker that it was none of her business, and "you never ask the customer questions like that." The checker smiled at him and told him, "Its ok, her husband works here, she's one of us." The attitude that I am not a customer lives and breathes in this store currently, even after the manager who first told me this "fact" is gone.

Another incident where I feel that an employee mistreated me was about six weeks ago. I was almost through with my shopping when I was approached by Arlen, the janitor. Apparently my bag of pretzels had exploded and had spilled throughout the store. Mr. Arlen caught up with me and told me that I had been leaking pretzels, and that he had to sweep them up all over the store. He was quite upset. I apologized, and he proceeded to tell me that I should really be more careful, because I had spilled pretzels on every aisle. He told me several times that he has had to sweep up this mess on every aisle, and didn't understand why I didn't notice this. He kept me from my shopping for a good minute and a half to reprimand for the mess that I had accidentally made, and then didn't even offer to get me a new bag of pretzels. I understand that it is policy to find the cart that is making the mess, such as with spilled milk or sugar, but is it policy to confront the customer about the incident and make them feel unwelcome? Or am I not a customer? I am still confused on that issue, because its my understanding that as long as you are paying for something in the store, you're a customer. Even if my husband were shopping, he is still a customer as long as he is buying something, correct? Especially when we are putting his Stater's paycheck right back into the company that we have been loyal to for years. I've been in a Stater's family for 23 years, and both of our extended families are loyal to the store. We would never dream of shopping at another store, and we follow union rules and do not shop at Walmart or any non-union stores, however I am feeling very put out by store #173's employees and should hope that I wouldn't need to switch stores based on these many incidents.

I've experienced behavior from a few of your side departments that make me consider no longer shopping at your store though. In the Service Deli, a woman named Felicia sat on the counter as I approached the deli to get some cheese. I asked her to help me and she continued to sit on the counter and stare into space. I asked her again and she asked someone else to help me. A woman named Jennifer came out and helped me and asked Miss Felicia to get off the counter, and mentioned something about needing to help the customers. Again I was treated like garbage when Miss Felicia told Miss Jennifer that it didn't matter anyway because I wasn't really a customer. Miss Jennifer was very polite and helped me with my cheese and apologized for Miss Felicia. I have also experienced "less than customer" behavior by a woman named Kim in the meat department. If I was shopping with my husband, she would approach him and discuss work with him. She would talk to him about something wrong that he did, or wasn't to her liking in a very rude and loud tone. She was not friendly at all, and I feel that these things could have been discussed while he was on the clock, not in the store shopping. On many other occasions, Miss Kim was less than kind to me, including turning her back to me while I was asking for help and having someone else help me and then going into the back. I passed her a few weeks ago when I was walking in front of the meat counter to go to the meat case, and she put her hands on her hips and gave me a very dirty look, one that a meat clerk should not be giving a customer, if I ever were one, which I get the feeling that I am NOT a customer in this store. If I am not a customer, then why would I continue to shop there? Convenience mostly. Also, another problem that I had in the meat department was with John. Mr John thought that it was appropriate to talk to me for 5 minutes before getting me what I asked for out of the case. I was not interested in talking to him, I had young children with me, yet he proceeded to tell me things such as that he is my husbands boss (he is actually in the same position as my husband, not in a position of management whatsoever) and that he tells my husband what to do and he has to listen, and told me about how he was going to be making more money soon because he was leaving Stater's for another company. Mr John is notorious for making sexual remarks about the customers, and for being a very promiscuous man, and I believe that these statements he made to me were not just small talk. I would also have appreciated my order right away instead of being talked to for several minutes before getting what I came for.

My husband told me that many of the male employees would approach him and ask him about my breasts. This once happened after I was in the store the night before alone, and asked a group of courtesy clerks where an item was located in the store, and they all scuffled around and then told me the wrong aisle. Because I am not a customer, I'm open to having your employees make sexual remarks about my body, is this correct? Its what I've been led to believe for about a year and a half now.

However, I did experience excellent service from a few employees, and was treated less like a customer and more like an old friend, which is far more welcoming. I would like to say that Ben in the meat department was a very polite individual, and continues to be to this day. He addresses me by my married name, and even if I don't stop at the meat department, he will seek me out and wave as I walk past and say hello. Also, Barb, who I believe is the price changer, has always been very kind and will ask about my kids, then proceed to show me pictures of her grandkids.. Lori, the florist, has been more than pleasant to me on many occasions. If these people didn't see me as a customer, they obviously saw me as something more, and they should be aware of my satisfaction with their positive attitudes. I should also say that visiting the bakery department has always been a great experience, as well as the produce department, which is always very clean, full of fresh produce, and almost always has something new for me to try.

In closing I would like to state that I would appreciate that this behavior, or "policy" be looked into, as I plan to continue shopping at this location. I am remaining anonymous, however I know that if and when this letter is read by the above mentioned names as well as the store manager, my identity will not be hard to figure out. However, I hope that being made aware of their inappropriate behavior will prompt them to treat me better as a customer who's husband no longer works for the company, and may possibly bring some of them to apologize personally. I am a loyal Stater Brothers shopper and wish to continue my loyalty, and I hope that in the future, spouses of employees are not treated in the manner in which I was treated in during the year and a half in question. I realize that everyone is human, but that people need to maintain a professional attitude when dealing with customers, which I now officially am since my husband has left your company.

Thank you for your time.

You know that old rhyme, "No more somethings no more books, no more teachers dirty looks..." or however? Do they make one for quitting grocery stores full of ass whacks and shit loving jaded bitter joy crushers? I tried to find the right song to express the assholish behavior of Stater Brothers Store #173, and the best I could come up with was Blue Monday...ofcorse I used the String Quartet Tribute to Blue Monday, which if youre in Internet Explorer and have your speakers on and a decent connection, you can hear riiiiiight now. Everyone has angry music, right? The kind that reminds you of your psycho ex boyfriend, or your boss, or your inlaws...the like? I had alot to choose from based on lyrics and meanings, I thought about Dizzy, by Orgy, but the lyrics were a bit innapropriate.

" You're just another pretty face
In a room full of whores
No you don't mean much
Used to be so naive
Catatonic
Now you seem to be so much better than before

Now you've made a mess of yourself
You've made a mess of everthing
You're a mess
A fuckin' mess
Dumb dumb
Dizzy dizzy
Dumb dumb
Dizzy dizzy .."

Yeah...it didnt fit right anyway. I also thought about "I Hope You Die" by The Bloodhound Gang.

"I hope your cellmate thinks hes god
But c.n.n. refer to him as bowling ball bag bob
Serving time again for abuse of a corpse
Only this time the victims a clydesdale horse
While he masturbates to photos of livestock
He does the silence of the lambs dance to christian rock
Eats feces and quotes from deliverance
And fights with his imaginary playmate vince

I hope he grins like jack nicholson
And forces you to play a game called balls on chin
And whatever happens next is all a blur
But you remember fist can be a verb
And when you finally regain consciousness
Youre bound and gagged in a wedding dress
And the prison guard looks the other way
cause hes the guy ya flipped the bird the other day"

Nah...thats really more of a breakup song.

Come on...whats your favorite fuck you song? I know you all have them, so share them with me! Id of used one of David's fuck you songs, but Im afraid that...well this is his favorite band's myspace page. Sit back and enjoy the screaming and cymbal crashes. Do you see why I say that I can tell how bad society is getting by how bad his music is? This is ofcorse my favorite bands myspace, which is in contrast, embarassing.

But I am still interested in hearing what you listen to when youre pissed. And who do you think of when you hear certain songs? And I dont want no love songs, and how that one makes you cry because it reminds you of him, I want tasteless lyrics, naughty words, cymbal crashes, hidden meanings, spill em. This is David's last day at Staters and I want to throw him a little angry music party when he comes home damnit...come on, PISS ME OFF!

Hes gunna drink a beer, and probably curse alot, maybe even break something. And I want you to play along at home, curse, yell and drink tonight. Break your mom's expensive vase. Its all ok, I give you permission to be mad as hell. Infact, as you raise the expensive vase over your head, I want you to yell,

"Im mad as hell and Im not going to take it any longer!"

Yes, just like that.

But now that hes between second jobs, Im going to spam you and force you all to buy my knit up digs. And David has decided to turn to art to maybe help us get by. Watch David create a masterpiece! Yes, watch and enjoy that video, then buy my knit up digs. Fall is here and its in the 60's down here in Blowmont...you know you want a snuggly scarfie pie. Dont argue with me about this, I am your mother and you will bundle up before leaving the house. Yes, that means you cant go outside until the package gets there, you must wait breathlessly by the door for the fe-mail-man until your knit up digs arrive. Oh and I accept paypal now.

And if youd like a bit of irony thrown in, Jen was fired today from #173. Why? Because she kept coming in late, and they dont tollerate that kind of bullshit, but they will tollerate some assholes being assholes to customers. Fantastic.

And heres a random meme from my cosmic twin Sue. (By the way, Ty was very excited about the poster you sent him Sue, he got to stay up an extra 15 minutes tonight to color it.)

Never again in my life: will I make the mistake of trusting someone just because they are related to me.

When I was five: I had short blonde hair and my best friend was Amanda Hunter

High School was: only fun because of band, the rest was unfair, trivial and fake

I will never forget: why I am holding grudges against people. I do that. It may not be healthy by your standards, but I dont believe that things just go away after an apology, or lack there of.

I once met: Suzanne Sommers. Shes a bitch. Her lipstick is pink and gummy, and she acts like we all dont know who she is. A baseball cap and a huge coat DOES NOT hide you well when youre Suzanne Fucking Sommers.

Theres this girl I know who: threw away friendships for a psycho boyfriend that she met on the internet who will probably end up ripping her kidneys out and making a pie with them, then feeding it to her while shes still alive.

By noon Im usually: cleaning my kitchen and making lunch for the little chilluns

Last night I: made fried chicken legs with David, then made a video of him pretending to be Bob Ross.

Next time I go to church: will probably be for a funeral

What worries me most: is something happening to one of my kids that I cant do anything about

When I turn my head right, I see: my little birdie pals hanging out in their cage, they look sleepy.

When I turn my head left, I see: that damn ABC video that the kids demanded to watch

You know Im lying when: I dont offer details

If I was a character written by Shakespeare, Id be: Tybalt

By this time, next year: I had better not be giving birth, I swear to god

A better name for me would be: Henrietta Pussycat, but only if Im stripping or hooking...which I dont plan to do so Jessie is fine

I have a hard time understanding: math, sports, why everything is so expensive

If I ever go back to school Ill: take some bullshit class like ceramics or something to keep me busy.

You know I like you if: I show you my underware drawer when you come to my house

Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferarro are: people who when grouped together like that can not be given a single lable

Take my advice, NEVER: click the "youve won a free iPod" ads, they just take you in circles and its utter utter crap.

My ideal breakfast is: strawberry pancakes at IHOP

A song I love, but do not have is: this weird chamber choir cover of "What Its Like To Sing The Blues." Also Im trying to find my old favorite band The Grimm Faries's hit, "Fairy God Mother Fucker."

If you visit my hometown, I suggest: hitting Oak Glen this time of year for apple pickins. Also, the pumpkin patch on Live Oak Canyon, and finding me so we can hang out.

Why wont anyone: believe me when Im telling the truth?

If you spend the night at my house, DO: bring your own computer, because Im not sharing mine

Id stop my wedding for: Actually, I did stop my wedding breifly because the guy asked me to take David as my WIFE! Then he denied it...fucker

The world could do without: Elmo

Id rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: a cock that just got pulled out of someones ass.

My favorite blonde(s) is/are: Ty!

Paperclips are more useful than: her.

San Diego means: nothing to me, not anymore.

Current Temp:  66
Current Mood: 

A tribute to television this week at Stuff Portrait Friday...


1. Your TV


No cable, and hardly ever on. We enjoy such shows as The Simpsons, the news, Greys Anatomy and Desperate Housewives all through a thick layer of static.

2. Your show


I thought about doing "My (middle) Name Is Pearl" but then I broke the sink and David fixed it and there was plumbers crack and it was funny and I took pictures, so this is what I came up with. And I gave it a Bob The Builder like theme song and he didnt like that, which explains the quote.

3. New member of the cast


Ive had lots of cast members appear and dissapear in my blog throughout the past year and a half, but I think that it would be cool if Gary Busey was one of David's regulars. Infact, Id like to replace my brother with Gary Busey, because when Gary Busey says stuff like Rory is the Messiah, and that there are aliens, and that there are tiny cameras in the soda machines, its funny. When my real brother says it, its just crazy talk.

How weird is it that you remember everything as being bigger, then when you grow up you wonder why you thought it was so big? One thing is for sure, Chauntel, or as shes now known, Chawny has never been very big. Her mother was never very big either. But its when I saw her mom for the first time in 10 years last night that I realized just how small this woman is.

Chawny, David, and I were bored and looking for something to do. She mentioned that her mom got this hilaious softcore porno version of Pirates of the Carribean. She said it had a stupid plot, no real nudity, but chicks with swords that say "Ill tell you what to do, you can GET DOWN THERE AND LICK IT!" This sounded promising, because pirate porn is filarious, or atleast I imagine it to be. Crystal lives in Calimesa, so Chawny and I drove over there to pick it up. Yeah, we are all pretty much comfortable enough with eachother that we can drive to Chawny's mom's house to pick up porn at 11:00 at night. No biggie...its softcore anyway. Even if we were over there to borrow the 20 minute VHS that Crystal has of these guys with glow in the dark condoms on their dicks who run around to the music of Star Wars, and as their dicks are flipping around, someone has edited in light saber noises...it wouldnt be weird or uncomfortable. Youll have to trust me.

It wasnt the house that I remember her in, this was a house that they bought some time after that, but I remember the same stuff. The random clutter, the smokey smell, her dad's pot, only I didnt see the paintings that Crystal use to do of Disney movies. This woman could have been an artist for Disney, I mean these paintings looked real. Aparantly those all hang in the bathroom, and the house is now decorated in gothic fairies and junk. Crystal was in her bedroom on her bed, and she heard us come in.

"Jessie's here mom, come say hi!"
"Oh!"

She hopped off the bed and all I could think was WOW.
"Well YOU certainly havent grown up," I said. We laughed and I bent in half to hug her. I dont remember her being that small. I wouldnt say midget, but I would deffinatley pinpoint her as a dwarf.

Thats Crystal and Chawny, I got that pic from her myspace. Chawny is just slightly taller than her mom, which was always a goal of hers. I would say that Crystal is maybe 4'7", maybe 4'8" if I wanted to give her the bennefit of the doubt. I am 5'9" so we all look really strange together. Chawny and I have never matched, and Ill tell you here and now that it never mattered. We got made fun of alot, you know, being called The Keebler Elf and The Jolly Green Giant, seems how she was always ALWAYS small and I was always ALWAYS tall, and after taking pictures with her last night I think I may have figured out why we dont have any pictures together from when we were little...its because we look rediculous together. There were a few pictures that we took together standing up, and I just couldnt use them. They were just too damn awkward, because I look like Im 7 feet tall and she looks...well...tiny. Also, Chawny is only 76 pounds. Ive got about 100 pounds on her...how do you think that makes me look? We sat down for pictures and they turned out better.

As we were leaving, Crystal suggested that we all get together and do a girls night. Ok, Im awkward enough in public as it is, lets give me a couple of dwarf women and see how fucking stupid we look walking into a bar. Its a walking joke!

"So an amazon, a midget, and a stripper walk into a bar..."

Oh wait, I just remembered...Im an ordained minister. That only adds to it.

I crack short jokes at her all the time, and she doesnt mind it. I asked her why, and she said "Because you dont do it to be a jerk."

"Yes I do."
"Well...its different because youre Jessie."

But if youve ever wanted to see a small chick stare daggers at you, say something shitty about her height. I gurantee that she will either make you feel smaller than her, or she will straight out kick your ass. For example, you know those little shrunken bottles and cans of soda? She was drinking one at her work one day, and one of the girls comes up to her and says, "Ooooh, youre drinking a little bottle of Dr Pepper, is it because youre tiny?"

Enter the glair of death. Exit the big mouthed dancer.

She said that shes been at the club, and she will ask someone if they want a dance, and the guy will ask her if shes even out of highschool yet.

"Yeeeah?"
"How old are you then?"
"23."
"Wow...um...well...it was nice talking to you but you look too much like a child for me to...you know...enjoy myself."

Atleast thats comforting. She said shes never had a perve like that though that likes how young she looks. Shes had guys offer to pay her $1000 bucks to go dukie on their chest, but never one who wanted to pretend that she was 13. (Shes never duked on anyone by the way, shes not a prostitute, but if youre interested in that kind of thing, there is a girl at her club who will do that sort of thing for you.)

My favorite magazine came in the mail today, oddly enough its the only food magazine that I subscribe to and its FREE (because I love free) Kraft Food And Family. Ive actually been kindof burnt out on cooking lately, I suppose youd call it cookers block. I never know what to make, and I never seem to have food to make...but I do, I just dont know HOW to prepare it, and I think its because we have stopped buying beef. We live on chicken and ground turkey. Hes not into fish so we dont do alot of that, and ever since I read about a pig who saved his owners life I feel sad eating pork chops. Oh Ill still eat bacon and ham, but pork chops seem more violent. Hes decided that he likes lamb though, and he says he would submit to trying rabbit...anyone have any opinions on rabbit? I see it at the store sometimes. Oh, and aparantly we have access to aligator, but it seems like too low of a life form to eat.

Anyway, I love Food and Family because it gives David and I an opportunity to look through it and pick out yummy things to eat. Yes, I have cook books, but this is smaller and more geared toward people like us who dont have a plethora of ingredients on hand all the time, and who have to feed alot of people, and some of the eaters are picky. (Namely me.) We peruse through the pages and make some lists based on what luuks guuud, and this evening when he gets off at the recycling center we will go shopping together, and lovingly pick the ingredients by hand. Well, actually this is how shopping for us goes...

Imagine a fire truck cart billowing with small children. We stop at the bakery and get them their free cookie, and head into the deli aisle. All is well through the dairy, the soda aisle, but by the time we hit the meat the kids are starting to climb out of their seats and David is scrambling to put them back in. I offer an idea, and suggest something.

"Oh, how about I make my bean soup this week?"

"NO, thats disgusting, I dont like that. No. I wont eat it."

"Ok...well how about..."

"No."

When we do things his way, we walk out of there with no food. Ive learned to make him surrender his opinion, and as I occasionally ask him about his prefrance of cereal or something, I will also not actually listen to him if he says he doesnt like something. David will eat ANYTHING with the exception of spinich and lasagne, I know that, so I know that his no's are bullshit. Besides, when I buy it and make it, he always takes the first bite and says "mmmm" then slurps the rest down anyway. This after "disgusting and I hate that."

So, I guess its really a matter of him and I not shopping together, but hes more like my store babysitter. But I would like for this week, since hes off on payday, to come with me and we can have a little shoppin' date. Not bloody likely, but its worth a try. If it doesnt turn out as I like, Ill just kick his ass.

This months Food and Family has some awesome recipes in it, as well as some cool articles. And, its online, so Ill share some cool finds with you. Look at this loaded baked potato soup, it looks super easy! I usually use a powder mix and a couple of potatoes, then I add bacon and cheese for flavor, but this one tells you how to do it without the powder. And it calls for sour cream, havent done that before, as Ive only recently discovered that I like it. Ok, and the chuckwagon chilly mac seems like something that would go over really well with my family, and it looks like its easy to stretch. Also, the ingredients are super cheap. Easy stuffed shrimp looks fun and economical, and it calls for the key ingredient that seems to pop up in Food And Family alot, zesty italian dressing. This looks like a grown up thing though, not really a family thing, but thats ok, we can put the little shits to bed and make love over our plates of stuffed shrimp. Hot Italian chicken sandwiches, sounds good! For dessert these blushing apples or carrot ginger cupcakes with spiced cream cheese. Oh and since so many of you have kids going to school and stuff, and since Connie brought up the crazy sandwich bit, try a bologna puzzlewich, or a waffle-applewich. Ya never know.

They had some interesting articles too, but please ignore the meatloaf thing, that recipe sucks, and if you want the real recipe Ill sell it to you (actually its also in my archives.) But its the only one that works, all other meatloaf is crap. They also gave a nice review on new products, a few of which I have tried myself. Looks like Cool Whip came out with a chocolate flavor. Ill tell ya, when Redi Whip came out with the chocolate whipped cream, the SECOND thing I thought about was putting it on food. Geez, ya hardly have to go into specialty stores anymore, theyve got it all laid out for you at Staters. Also, this is an excellent product. Its under 5 bucks, and it makes for a great dinner for when youre lazy. We get the cheese one, and its sooooo good. I very much recomend this, its fantabulous. These are somewhat freaky, but Im ok with it if youre ok with it. Maybe Ill get some and try them for the kids if they arent too expensive. Those are the only truly appealing ones to me, everything else is old but made new again because they put more milk or less salt or something.

And David decided against going to the fire meet because he is instead going to go to the Sherrif's and apply for the jail. It seems that the fire people like to have a bunch of vollies but they never hire them on...kinda bull. His time is better spent in law enforcement where he belongs. (Besides, the bullet proof vest makes you look all buff. Tee hee.)

-Jessie T, who intices her naked 13 month old out of the empty tub with food. It was an apple though, so dont get too upset with me.

Current Temp: 74
Current Mood:


I have this really great book. Its called Grimm's Fairy Tales. I actually had a smaller paperback version, but my ex boyfriend had this huge hardback leatherbound edition and we traded...just for a while...and long story short, I never gave it back. A favorite of mine is ofcorse, "The Glass Coffin," or more commonly, "Sleeping Beauty." Heres the spoiler from the Wikipedia article on The Glass Coffin.

A tailor's apprentice became lost in a forest. At night, he saw some light and followed it to a hut. An old man lived there and, after the tailor begged, let him stay for the night. In the morning, a fight between a great stag and a bull woke him. He watched. When the stag won, it bounded up to the tailor and carried him off in its antlers. It let him down before a wall of stone and pushed him against a door in it, so that the door opened. Inside, he was told to stand on a stone, it would bring him good fortune. He did so, and it sank into a great hall, where the voice directed him to look at a glass chest, which contained a beautiful maiden. She told him to open the chest to free her, and he did so.

She told him she was the daughter of a rich count. After her parents died, her brother raised her. One day, a traveler stayed the night and used magic to get to her in the night, to ask her to marry him. She found the use of magic repellant and did not consent. He turned her brother into the stag, imprisoned her in the glass coffin, and enchanted all the lands.

They emerged and found the brother once more a man. The bull he had killed had been the magician. The tailor and the maiden married.

Ofcorse, it was made into a Disney movie, which is how most people know it. Disney, who accordning to Snopes,

• Is not an illegitimate child
• Was never dishonorably discharged from the military
• Never had his body put in cryonic storage
  
• Whos face does NOT appear on a bust in the Haunted Mansion
• Was not named after a man who helped his parents out in Illinois

So anyway, I saw my brother today. My brother who believes that my mom knew Walt Disney, and believes that the fact that he was placed into the Aurora Hills care center when he was put into foster care is some how tied to my niece being the Messiah. Lets go over the more important stuff first, and then I will give you the run down of the bull shit.

There was another hearing this morning. Theyve dropped all charges, except that they want Jen to plead guilty to having a dirty house and domestic violence (between her and my brother, not any violence toward the child.) She could get Rory back today if she pled to these, so she went for it. The lawyers got together and went to tell my brother. My brother wont bite. He doesnt want to take that bait, because he knows something and he is therefore making it difficult for Jen to get her daughter back. Jen told the lawyers that she is no longer working WITH him, and that what his issues are will have to be delt with seperatley, because she doesnt want to be selfish, and she NEEDS her daughter back. Thats all well and good, and the judge thinks its a weak case...but my brother is screwing it all up.

Ill tell you that it starts with underground tunnels in Redlands and ends with him now asking the court to refer to him as King Stuart.

You cant make this shit up. If hes good for anything, hes good for great fucking blog material.

He met me outside the CPS building, and I asked him to just watch Wade and Ty, that I would run Rory upstairs so Jen could start her visit. Shouldntadonethat. I drop her off, because Im no longer comfortable with my kids being audio and video recorded in that building, I come back and theyre not in the car. Oh no, hes taken them OUT of the car and is letting them play 3 feet away from a busy street. And people, after Ty almost getting hit by a car a few months back, I am nowhere near allowing my kid near a busy street...I wasnt before!

I told him that I didnt ask him to take the kids out of the car. He told me that hes dressed like this today (wearing a Family Guy t-shirt, some crappy pants, and a beanie) because he wanted to show the courts who he really is. He said he wasnt up for wearing a 3 piece suit today, he wanted to show them that "hes an American" and nobody can tell him how to dress. He asked me if I was leaving and I said yes, I said that I had Davids lunch with me and I needed to take it to him. He told me that he didnt take the plea bargin because if he does then Aurora will still be in "custody" for a year and theyll psyc. eval. all of us, including me, and that "their doctors" will determine us all as crazy and put her up for adoption. (Shes up for adoption in March, unless they get her back.)

He told me that hes got it all figured out. He said that everything links together, that my mom knew Disney, my mom was a Freemason and so was he, and then they made Sleeping Beauty, he mentioned something about Lion King, the fact that he was placed into that Aurora center thing, his family line is royal, and so is Jens, and "its all falling into place." He said that hes met people who know people, and it turns out that these people are aware of these other people, and everything matches up. I told him that yes, thats all likely because Southern California isnt that big, espessally the Inland Empire.

"No, its because everything here is controlled by the Satanists."

Ok. So heres the thing. As to my mom being a freemason, there is no proof of that. Infact, I saw this woman's death certificate...its blank. No mother, father, no grandparents. Her occupation is listed as "Carnival ride operator" and she has no place of birth. And just because my mom said something, well...it really makes it the opposite of true. Did she really know Disney? Doubt it. Was she a Freemason? Prooooooobably not. And when it comes to these satanists...well...thats something else. Now, it IS true that Redlands is the capitol of Satinism in California...probably the better part of the US or even the world for all I know, but I highly doubt that there are tunnels under the streets and that the satanists control everything here. Theyre just weird little people, Ill admit. They killed a girl a while back, and yes they vandalize places and yes, they are very real. However, my brother believes that everything that happens in the IE is controlled by them. That is not true, theyre just weird people who hang out in groups and suck eachothers mouth sores until they pass out...thats it. Nothing more. They arent magic or powerful, and they dont control the lights or the sun. Theyre just people.

I started to get into the car and he mentioned that the vaccinations that theyre putting into the kids are tainted. I told him I didnt care. He was shocked. He was seriously taken back that I didnt care. I called him stupid and started my engine. He laughed out loud at me, and I told him to just stop...just stop talking. He said he couldnt because its all true, and I put my car in reverse. "I still love you" he yelled to me.

I take David his lunch, he was very busy, I didnt even get to sit with him while he ate! I drove back and found Cookie and Jen...we had a talk. I think hes finally lost his mind...what little shred of whats left...its gone. Out the winda'. My brother believes, and this is all him, not me...my brother believes that the Freemasons are behind the CPS actions, and thinks that theyre trying to get Rory because they want to hide the blood line. Yes. I said blood line. Read any good books lately? He said that he researched it, and that Jen comes from Irish royalty, and it is well known that our family on the Stuart side is Scotish royalty. He told Jen that shes his queen, that he is the king, and yes, she is Princess Aurora. The freemasons want to take her because they know about the blood line, and they will have to destroy her.

See I dont want to leave Rory with the CPS people alone because Im afraid of them twisting words. He doesnt want to leave her alone with them because he thinks theyre going to scoop out her brains.

Hes now filed some paper or something, to my understanding, that he be referred to as King Stuart by the courts. Jen made a good decision to want to do her case seperate. It looks like for her, no promises, but 4-6 weeks. They will probably want her to get some more classes done, bla bla bla, but 4-6 weeks isnt too bad. As for him, Im hoping that his mother ship will come back in time so that The Princess can live happily ever after with her mommy.

I told David. He said God Damnit a bunch of times, and then told me that my brother was there the other day and "told him something in confidence" that Im not allowed to know. My brother told David that the movie Lion King is based...get this...off of my family. He believes that Mufassa is my dad, Scar is my Uncle Ken, and he is Simba. Oh suuuuuuuure Richard, except for the fact that Lion King is ACTUALLY based on oh...whats that little story called? Some play written by...SHAKESPEARE? Hamlet anyone? Oh and the bible stories of Joseph and Moses, but I prefer to stick to fine pieces of literature. But my brother truly, honestly believes that Walt Disney got the idea for the movie based on our family. Yeah...the man died in 66. My brother was born in 78 I think. My parents werent even anywhere near being a couple until 10-12 years AFTER the mans death. More important quips from the help of Wikipedia...

In fact, Christopher Vogler, in his book The Writer's Journey: Mythic Structure For Writers, described how Disney approached him with a copy of Hamlet asking how to improve the plot of The Lion King by incorporating ideas from Shakespeare ^{[citation needed]}. Relationship between the two plots includes: The brother to the king (Scar to Mufasa; Claudius to King Hamlet) kills the king (this occurs before the play Hamlet begins). The rightful heir (Simba/Hamlet) does not avenge his father's death at first. Later, at the urging of his father's ghost, the prince recalls his duty (although Hamlet vacillates between action and inaction unlike Simba) and ultimately returns from exile to kill his uncle (although Hamlet was not in exile at the time, and Simba does not personally kill Scar). Other than those key plot points, however, much of Hamlet's plot has no parallel in The Lion King.

David continued to say God Damnit alot. He said my brother is blowing it. But it is SO LIKE my brother to think that his daughter is Jesus...because he literally thinks hes GOD.  And Lion King...See my dad? He died of cancer. Uncle Ken did not invent cancer. My fathers death does not need to be avenged, because he wasnt killed. Infact, he killed himself by not going to the doctor sooner. Infact, it was Ken who begged him to go to the doctor.

My brother is a waste of skin.

He might be crazy but I promise you, I am not. I think. Mostly. I know its come up before, but I guess all I can do is keep on showing you videos documenting the things I talk about. When I tell you that the lights are flicking on and off, I show you a video, and you all think Im weird. Then I show you a second one. This is all I have, because if I just said that the lights were flicking on and off, that would be crazy, but I have VIDEO! (And its on Youtube because Myspace is being retarded.) Ok...so the light thing has no real explanation, but I gurantee that my niece, sadly, is not the Messiah. This I know, for the bible tells me so.

But I was plesantly suprised last night by the stomping of clomping of someone I know coming up my stairs. I thought that it was David coming up, it sounded like his stomp. Then it was followed by a "Shave and a hair cut, two bits" knock on the lower part of the door. Could it be? Yes, Chawny suprised me!

"What are you doing in this state Chauntel-a-ho...you do not live in this state"
"I know, Im here to visit. I was going to call first but I thought Id suprise you!"
"How did you know that I would be home?"
"Come on in."

We caught up with eachother, shes been avoiding me on purpose so I wouldnt know that she was coming back to Cali. I told her that I was very excited to see her, and she complemented me on my patience with the children. You see, she came over riiiiiiiight when I was putting them to bed. This was bad, because the kids were all excited about the new person in the house and decided that they needed to sleep in the hallway. As we talked, I had a screaming Rory rolling around on the floor, Ty begging for milk, and I was able to keep my side of the conversation.

"How the hell do you do that?"
"Oh...well normally I would be making them get into their beds but since youre here I want to spend time with you."
"Id of beaten them by now."
"Yeah...I just tune them out."

She told me that she almost beat the shit out of a prostitute named Hollywood who works at her strip club, but Innocence (another stripper) stopped her. She told me about another stripper, some druggy bitch, who's baby suposedly died of SIDS, but that this was her second SIDS baby, and she brought the baby to the club 2 days before it happened, then begged for money afterwords. Chawny thinks its suspicious because of her bringing the baby to the club, and the fact that the baby suffocated in pillows, which Im pretty sure any parent of a SIDS baby would be extra careful with things like pillows and blankets. Fucking sad as hell...I dont see how someone could do that, although alot of these strippers get all caught up in the blacklights and lapdances and fall into the money driven world that is exotic dancing. And the girl says now that she wants to leave the baby daddy, but not before she gets knocked up again, because she "wants another baby that looks like that one."

This isnt a fucking pet store, you dont go pick the bunny with the brown spot because it looked like the one that just died...it just makes me sick. And how the cops who investigated didnt find this extremley weird, I dont know. I suppose I dont know alot, but I just know that it pissed me off was all.

Chawny stayed a while, but had to go back to her boyfriends mom's house to meet him. I guess him and her dad got in a brawl yesterday...over chess...because thats what people in Yucaipa do, is have fist fights over chess, and he went back to make nice nice while she was over here. Shes coming over in about 15 minutes so we can take pictures, because for some odd reason, through all the years we played with eachother on the playground and grew into maturity...we have no pictures together. This has to change. The Flickr shal be exciting on the morrow.

Anyway, if youre waiting to read the letter to Staters, try back Saturday. (Or if youve caught on, Friday night.) Im going to go finish a pumpkin that Im knitting, and you need to buy this...


Austa la pasta.

Current Temp: 77
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Our new friends are a little more calm and a little less bitey today. Theyve discovered that they have food, and I think the male is the one whos chattering a little. Im not use to having to tame my own animal, because I usually get them second hand. Unfortunatley, when you get a used animal, espessally abused ones, they dont live as long.

The way that Sara treated birds was basically that she would beat them into submission. Yes, she beat them. The way that she would tame her parakeets is by squeezing them. If they moved, she would blow on them. If they bit her, she would flick their heads. Eventually her bird would just sit there. You could set it anywhere and it wouldnt walk or move at all. It was active in its cage, but when she held it, it was just this little terrified thing. I remember Hoth, her favorite, he never grew to full size and he died at the age of two. Get this...with proper diet and care, they can live up to 18 years. Yeah.

The only bird that I ever adopted from her was Archimedes. This bird had a strong personality, and she decided that he/she should be a cage bird. (In other words, it was too large for her to control.) By the time we got Archi, the bird mostly wanted to be in its cage. I couldnt seem to tame it, it never wanted to be handled, but was more than happy to take food from your hand, ONLY if it was given through the cage. They also live to be about 18 years, Archi lived for about 5, 3 of them with me. Archi unfortunatley had a fungas on his beak, which he may have had his whole life, which is also why he wasnt friendly. This fungas doesnt really have a cure, and eventually it leaves the bird unable to eat. We used these drops on him to clear it up, but it just gave him more time, I guess. It was very sad when he died.

And if you remember Damn the canarie, he was I think 7 when we got him. He came from a home with alot of kids...loud kids. They would hit on his cage and spin him around, and he became very frightened and stopped singing. Infact, when I got him, he hadnt sang in a year. Ty is very respectful of the animals, and believe it or not my house is pretty quiet, so Damn (Sam, who was called Damn by a little boy who couldnt say his S's) came to live with me. He never sang again in the few months he spent here, but he did learn to chatter again.

Yeah, Im kindof where the abused and sick animals come to die.

I had a large cage in my first apartment full of finches with terrible names. Most of them were "special" in some way, because I seem to like the retarded birds who are missing parts or whatever. They have shorter life spans, but I dont like to see them living in the pet store all their lives where nobody will take them. Theyre usually also discounted to get them to move faster, but most people want to adopt the perfect pet. I learned that most of them overcome their dissability, but usually when its a bigger bird. Finches are small and simple, and they arent meant to be held anyway. Unfortunatley, I lost all of them one night when there was a gas leak in my apartment. By gas leak I mean that I woke up with all four of the burners on my stove on full blast with no flame, and I lived alone, and furthermore, never used the stove...but thats a story for next month. I also lost my breeding keets Kiwi and Tiki.

The only other bird that I lost young was Soliarie, he was a lovebird, and he was not purchaced from Bracken. Bracken Bird Farm by the way is the supplier for all of Petco's birds. So other than Petco being extremly expensive for their birds, I can gurantee that the birds are always hand reared, and always have the best personalities. Soliarie lost his life the night that we had to evacuate our other apartment. This is the one that the landlord never came out to fix the mysterious wet spot under the carpet, and we discovered the very scary mold, and the health department told us to get out NOW. We grabbed Archi but didnt have room for Soli, and when we came back to get him the next morning he was gone.

I seem to like birds because I love their chit chat. Thats why I went and got the budgies, because their noise is soft but cute. They also have mimicing abilities, which is always a plus. Its the first pair of brand new birds who dont have deformalities that I think Ive ever owned. Actually, I think my first two finches were perfect...I also dont think they came from Bracken. I no longer submit to buying feathered creatures from anywhere but Bracken. The nice lady said that both birds had good weight, and basically as long as they make it through the 7 day period, they should live long, happy, healthy, joy filled lives.

A very important thing to remember with critters like these guys is that seed and water is the equivelant to bread and water for humans. Unlike dogs and cats, they should be given table scraps like fruits and veggies. They love adventures and new toys, and neat stuff to climb. If you want a bird that you dont have to deal with much, get a canarie. They die if you touch them so theyre perfect to just leave in a cage and keep their food and water levels up. Budgies are actually small parrots, so they need sitmulation. Theyre also very inexpensive, so if something should go wrong when you bring them home, which happens sometimes (which is why they have warranties) theyre somewhat replaceable.

I weighed my birds this morning, although I forgot to weigh them yesterday...all I know is yesterday they were healthy. Both birds today are 1.1 oz, which is decent. David got both budgies to eat tiny ammounts of seed from his hand. When we remove Bella from the cage, Wyatt churps sadly. When we put them together outside of the cage, they both puff up, which shows comfort. (If the bird is puffy for long ammounts of time though, its a sign that they are sick.) Weve seen Bella preen herself, as well as preening him. They arent fully active yet, but theyre certainly a little more use to their new "room mates" than they were yesterday. I also see millet scattered about the cage floor, which means that someone had a snack. This is a great sign that theyre adapting.

I hear its football season...was anyone else aware of this? I certainly wasnt...although see the thing is...I dont care. Dianne asked me yesterday over messenger if David got to watch the Broncos game. He wasnt aware that one was on. She was shocked and appauled that he didnt watch the game, I think her feelings were genuinley hurt. We dont really watch a whole lot of TV so I guess it didnt register. She told him that he HAS to teach me the game. Aparantly she taught Jerry the game, and now hes a football fan. Uuuuuuuuh...me no lika de foot boll. This is the only thing that I halfway care about that involves a football feild...


I forget which one I am, but I think Im the one who looks like a Christmas ornament...

The point is, I dont like sports, never have, and have no desire to learn. This became some sort of problem with my MIL. She insisted that I learn, and insisted that it was very important for David to teach me. The fact of the matter is I have learning disabilities when it comes to hard things like math and sports. You hand me a ball of clay, I can make you a bowl. You give me some paper and a pen and Ill write you a nice childrens story like "The Unicorn Who Shat Out Rainbows" or some scary dark goth thing written from the point of view of a gum wrapper. You give me a beer and a bowl of nachos and start talking about "how bout dem Rams" and I cry. The last time he tried to teach me anything ended in tears. The first time, I cried. The second time I ended up banning football from the house for a whole season. Theres a story, and its chalk full of morals and values, so read on.

The best thing that a married couple can ever do to spark up conversation or to spit shine a relationship is to take part in eachothers interests. This is true especially today when its ok for girls to wear baseball caps and a man child can knit. Since he had attempted to actually teach me things about the game, even though I had been to countless high school football games and laid in the bleachers complaining or throwing things at Scott while being dressed as a Christmas ornament, I had given up on ever learning. (His cousin Nick taught me some dirty cheers and stuff while watching the game, that was nice of him.) So heres the trick that I use, and even though it backfired once, it wasnt my fault, and I stand by this formula...bet against him. Im serious. You bet on the other team and you raise the stakes to some horrible chore like scrubbing the base boards or cleaning out the closit or something. Even though you may have no clue as to what is going on, its still benneficial to watch. If you can understand numbers, you can do this. They put the scores right on the screen, and its even more useful if you can remember the name and color of your team.

The time that this backfired, I had bet him that he had to clean the bathroom and kitchen top to bottom. We had a small place, so this wasnt that big of a deal, but it was principle. Well, after alot of "Was that my team? Am I winning? Did he do the thing and then he won? Is the crowd cheering for the green guys?" on my side, David got upset. He said it was bullshit and he wasnt going to clean a damn thing. I told him to shut up and do it. A bet is a bet, no matter how frivolous. Long story short, he refused, and I canceled the cable. Sure, I didnt get to watch any of my shows, but he didnt get to watch football. Beat that, smarty pants!

But its been two years. Last year he watched it while I was at work, or if there was nothing important on that night. This year, I think we will try my formula again...although I dont think Im allowed to bet against the Broncos. He often forces me to wear orange and blue clothes for no reason, when Im picking a shirt he will make me pick orange or blue, and anything he wants me to knit him has to be orange and blue. If its a choice between orange and blue, he says "Ill have to get a second wife so I can each make you wear one."

Funny thing is, he watches football and knits.

Funny thing is, he picked up knitting on his own, and can do so better than I can.

I asked him if he is still interested in law enforcement. He says yes, but hes not sure if he will just apply for the academy in a year, or if he will just stay with the FD.

"Well, both of them are really important services to the community, and you have to be a great person to do both. But if you want respect and to be thanked and honored and looked up to by everyone under the sun, be a fire fighter. If you want people to hate you and you just want to be a power hungry asshole who gets called names and gets disrespected on a daily basis, be a cop."

Its something to think about. Its the sad part of life, but frankly nobody likes cops. Well, except me...I love them. However most people dont see them as heros, but its because of the fact that THOSE people are usually doing something wrong.

"Some asshole cop pulled me over for no reason."
"You drive a Mustang."
"But I wasnt speeding, I was only going like 85."
"But the speed limit is 65"
"Still, he was being an ass."
"Well how was he an ass?"
"I was pissed because he pulled me over, so I took my time getting my licence and shit out, and he got all pissy with me."
"Well, werent you pissy with him first?"
"He shouldnt have pulled me over, thats why I was pissy."

Thats an actual conversation that I had with someone.  And I loved the little "I smell bacon, I smell grease, I smell Yucaipa city police" that the dumbass kids in Jr High would sing.  My niece said it once and I said,

"First of all Ashley, Yucaipa doesnt have city police, they have San Bernardino Sheriffs.  Second, why dont you try singing that to a cop when his ass is in your house saving you from some whacked out burgler whos about to slit your throat.  Ok?  See if the "piggy" helps you out then."

Where as you get yourself into a sit'chiea-shun with a fire fighter and its a whoooooole different story.

"So....youre like a fire fighter?"
"Yep."
"Do you like...wear a helmet...and like fight fires n stuff?"
"Yes maam."
"He he...do you like...rescue baby kittens from trees and stuff?"
"Yep."
"Heh heh heh...so...is there a Mrs. Fire fighter man?"

Whatever he decides to do, Im with him. His mom told me that he looks good as a fire fighter, I agreed. Then again I think he would look good as a plumber or dumpster diver. I suppose Im a bit bias. No matter. Anyhoo, since I havent spammed you in a while, have a look at my latest crap.

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There are a few subjects that I wont touch with a 10 foot pole. Or even someone elses 10 foot pole. I wont mention all of them to you now, but you might notice a few subjects I try to stay away from, or you wont because I dont mention them. However, one subject I try to stay away from is 9/11. The reason is that as it effected me, I just dont feel that I have the right to be connected to it like others are. I didnt lose anyone, I didnt know anyone who lost anyone, and it happened so far away. That doesnt mean it wasnt shocking to me, or that it wasnt sad, but really when I think back on the day, it was really just something to talk about.

My first knowledge of it was my sister coming into my room when I was sleeping telling me that the United States is under attack. We thought it was pretty entertaining to say the least. This is California, where we get all hot and bothered over high speed chases, so when planes are crashing into buildings, thats pretty neat. Keep in mind that like alot of the nation, we didnt know what was happening, and ofcorse, the fact that many many people died in these attacks. It was seven-something in the morning.

My first period teacher didnt let us watch the news. I hear other Yucaipa High teachers had CNN on the whole time, but our teacher just made us go over another chapter of Catcher In The Rye. I was a senior, I was 17, and I went to school that day, although I hear that other parents kept their kids home. When I got out of first period, someone said something about the towers falling and they watched it happen. When I got to my second period floristry class, my teacher was in tears, and I think thats when I realy realized the human loss in it all. She had us make ribbon roses, red white and blue, and turn them into crowns. I think I still might have mine somewhere, I wish I did anyway, what a cool momento.

By third period I was in my law class, and instead of studying torts we talked about some plane that crashed in the middle of a feild, and we think that the passengers may have brought the plane down to save another building. Some kid who I called Sloth because he looks like that guy from The Goonies said it was probably a bunch of Chinese people flying around. He was sent to the office, and then to On Campus Suspension. By the end of the day here in California, we really had no clue what happened. We closed our Walmarts and movie theatres that night. We closed all kinds of places, but the bars and pizza parlors still had their televisions set to the news, and just about everyone watched for more details about what happened. None of us really got it, unless you were from New York, or maybe you knew someone from New York.

California wasnt a bunch of uncaring assholes that day, we just didnt understand. Eventually the nation came together to do good, and we all suffered together as it all hit us and we realized that people were dead, families were destroyed, and our president sat there reading "My Pet Goat" to a bunch of kindergartners because he had no idea what to do. I dont think any of us knew what to do.

And what I find most insulting, even though I dont feel that I have much of a right to be insulted, is that when you do a google video search on 9/11, you find a bunch of conspiracy videos, the kind my brother rants and raves about. All these ass whacks who try to show proof that WE destroyed our own towers, OUR military blew up flight 93, the towers never existed, the president knew this was happening, and bla bla bla. All this crap about how the towers were imploded from the inside from people who studied Greek Mythology in college and never spent a day as an architect in their lives. Oh, I know the truth behind 9/11 because I live in Minnesota and this guy I know drew a picture of the towers on this napkin and then the napkin was used to roll my other friends joint and then the flames on the towers came true because the planes struck the building like 6 months later.

People actually believe this shit.

I dont necessaraly think that 9/11 was handled the way it should have been, I dont think that WE did it, but I certainly dont think WE knew how to handle it. And its insulting that instead of just claiming "Wow, I didnt know this was so big" and sending condolances to the families, they have to come up with all of this bull shit in their infinate spare time to make everyone look bad. And before I insult anyone, because I wasnt there, I had nobody lost there, and Im over here in California basically not physically effected by it, Id like to first say that Im sorry, it was a real tragety, and I continue to wish the best for the families. And second, I would like to send you off to hang out with people who give a hoot, and who were able to put this in better words, and probably will do a better job at paying tribute.

I hear that there are 2,996 bloggers who are each paying a special tribute by writing about someone who died that day. I dont know all 2,996 people, but I know a few of them. Stop by these blogs today and read their tributes.

Adena's tribute is where I would like to send you first. I feel all special because I actually got a sneak preview of this a few weeks ago where she asked me to read it over for her. Its excellent. Please have a look.

Certifiable Princess did a nice tribute to Mr Howard Selwyn, have a look.

The Kept Woman, another blog I read is also paying tribute today, be sure to stop by in the Land Of Snow And Cheese to read her entry.

I believe that A Day In The Night Of A Stripper is also paying her respects to Angel Ramon Pena.

If youre paying tribute today, feel free to leave your link in my comments and spam the hell out of it. Take advantage and let your thingy be read. Its alot better than I can do.

So on with my blog, now that Ive admitted that Im not nearly as cool as those guys for doing what they do, we headed out to Cabazon today so David could apply at the store that my niece works at. Cabazon is home to a huge outlet mall, and its basically where all the rich folk from Palm Springs pick up they' digs. (Its where they buy their rich people costumes.) Its outlet though, so its all discounted, so its actually pretty tourstie. Its like Disneyland...the Asian people with cameras taking pictures of Wade's red hair saying "Ooo rooook! He hai is so specoooo, I take pictua?" Im not making this up or just randomly throwing in an Asian zinger for attention, its just what happened there. And did I mention that everyone comes in from Palm Springs to shop there? And guess which store he applied for? Think expensive name brand store. Think really nice hand towels and classy fragrances. Think about a sport that you play on horses. Yeah, my niece works there, and aparantly theyre hiring nights because according to her "Eeeew! Nobody wants to work here past like 8:00! Are you kidding me?" Its perfect for him. The job that no one else wants, and he gets to wear very fancy expensive clothes while working. Aparantly theyll pay you what you put down on your ap, and he put $8 an hour. Thats 5 cents more than he made at Staters. See? Now you know why he was so unhappy there and why he needed two jobs. My niece wrote down $7.50, but her friend wrote down $8.00 and they gave it to her. David wanted to go for $8.50 but I told him not to be an asshole.

"Tho honeee, are you going to thample the hand creamths?"

"No. Im not. Im going to be the only straight male who works in the store."

"All of the little 16 year old girls will go after you then!"

"No, they go after the gay guys because they know theyre safe. I have to be straight and intimidating so they wont bother me."

Hes going to like it there if he gets in. And when it comes to Staters, now...we arent burning bridges there. He has people who will vouch for him, such as Ben. Ben is the sweetest employee at the store, and luckily hes in a position of power to give a refrance to David's excellent work ethic, because hes the journeyman meat cutter. (Unfortunatley hes not in a high enough position to tell these assholes to leave him alone.) Also, hes been employed by Staters for 2 1/2 years, which looks excellent for his age. And, he wrote down his reason for leaving Staters as "Not enough hours or pay." Its true. Also, the nithe man who accepted his application noticed that he was an early graduate, also a pluth.

I embrace the rainbow by the way, dont get me wrong.

But this store is just somewhere that you wouldnt think that David T the meat cutter can squasher chilly eating guy would be working. And he only chases butterflies because theyre pretty like me, he says.

The other cool thing is my niece will get a bonus for referring him. He has to wear the brand's clothing, but aparantly he gets 6 shirts and 6 pants every 6 months for $15 a piece, so its not too bad of a deal.

And he turned in his application to the fire station for voluenteer today with his kick ass refrances, they want him in on Thursday. He said hed do it too. He would gladly tell Staters to take a flying leap. "Sorry, I cant come in tonight, I have to go work at the fire station." If they give him any lip, he will say "Ok, but dont call my ass when your house is on fire dude." They call them "vollies," and they wanted him to stay today because "theyve got alot of stuff to clean." I told him that hes going to be doing their dishes and taking out their trash, and he doesnt care. That doesnt matter to him. He said hed gladly lick their hoses clean if they asked. No, their HOSES...

Not the other thing...perve, jeez.

He said that hes gotta talk to Captian Wood. He he he...no seriously, thats the guy hes gotta talk to, and he should be at the meeting this week. He is only required to put in 3 hours a month, so this could really work out. David is so cool. And hes manly enough to work in a store that has been featured on Queer Eye many many times. Hes ok with that. And, even though hes a vollie, if he ever happens to fight a fire, he gets paid. Its like a bonus. Thats awesome.

And somehow we obtained some new friends today. No, not real people or companionship, but I was lonely without any critters around here, since the passing of...well...all of our animals. I havent mentioned it because I wanted to be the first to tell Chawny so she didnt have to read it on the internet, but the chilla passed away some time ago. He missed his girlfriend who had died before I got him. Then Archimedes, our bird that we adopted abused, he/she died a few weeks ago, very short of its life span, but thats what happens when theyre in the hands of Sara...shes not very nice to them. But I decided that I wanted the chitter chatter of birdie pies to keep me company, and thats when I went to Bracken to pick out some babies.

I like to adopt the mutant birds because theyre usually sweet, so I looked at the "as is" cockatiels. Most of the time, the as is 'teals are either missing feet, or toes, or their feet are too small for their body. Normal 'teals are in the $75-150 range, but the as is ones are usually 20. I looked and didnt see any deformed ones, and the lady said that a guy came last week and bought three really sweet ones, and all she had now were ones that had gotten older and regressed a little. We attempted to pull them out of the cage but they were all angry and mean and bitie. I decided to get some parakeets instead. Keets are sturdy pets, very loveable and can learn lots of stuff. Theyre colorful, great around kids, and they have the cutest little chitter chatter youve ever heard.

Knowing that I was willing to take in a mamed bird, she said she saw a really sweet keet with one foot, so we looked for him...but we couldnt find him. Aparantly he found another home. But I decided on a pretty blue one, because David likes blue, and also a yellowish bluish brownish female. Shes a bitch mothafucka, and her little love bites leave marks. But I wanted two so they could be friends. Maybe even fuck buddies, who knows? Its a male and a female, so its possible I suppose. She sold them to me at the regular price, even though one of them was rare and banded...she was a nice lady. She helped me out the door, and I brought them in their little Chinese takeout boxes to my car. I hoped that David would approve. I named the blue one Wyatt on the name home.

He approved. However I did not approve of the yellow one and her biting...that had to stop.

"Can we name this one Fucking Bitch?"

"No honey, we have kids."

"Oh."

Eventually, after asking Ty what he wants to name it, and he kept saying "Yucky," I decided on Bella. I thought maybe he would name it something cool like how I use to name finches.

See also: Tyler, Marla, Armpit, Onion, Kiwi, Tiki, Cinnamon, Peanutbutter and Spaghettio

For once in my life, I didnt want my animal to have a stupid name, and thats a big step forward for me.

See also: Crumpet, Dirt Claude, Cotton Ball, Chill Pill, Ju Ju Bee and Blueberry Cheesecake.

I think I had a bunny named Velcro once, but I adopted it with that name. It seems that when I name something good, it lives longer. Cookie Monster, my big fluffy kitty, hes still alive and living with my sister. Sara took in Shelly, a calico cat that I adopted from Petsmart a while back, and I swear, that little thing never got any bigger, but it was very loyal and sweet to humans...just a bitch to all of the animals. And its still alive because it has a good name. So, I leave you with my newest pals who Im sure will cause mischeif and mayhem (and who I was forbidden to name Bloggie)

Wyatt and Bella

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Anyway, its written. The letter that I plan to send to Stater Bros headquarters on the 17th is written up with names and all, and even spell checked. Its all good to go. I will share it with you then, but not now. And yes, the internet version will be uncensored and first names are going to be mentioned as I generally tend to do with my blog. It may not do anything but it might do something. Either way, its the right thing to do.

I read it out loud to David, and he approves. But it was durring this paragraph right after the word "breasts"...

"My husband told me that many of the male employees would approach him and ask him about my breasts. This once happened after I was in the store the night before alone, and asked a group of courtesy clerks where an item was located in the store, and they all scuffled around and then told me the wrong aisle. Because I am not a customer, I'm open to having your employees make sexual remarks about my body, is this correct? Its what I've been led to believe for about a year and a half now."

...that he made a weird cough/sneeze noise while drinking his soda. I turned around and looked at him and he had soda coming out of his nose, and some more dribbling down his neck.

"Um...problem?"
"Nope. No problem at all."
"Its getting into your neck rolls."

Then he very casually wiped his face with his sleeve.

Next week his schedule doesnt have anymoe 3 AM shifts, they have him getting off at 12. They have him working 5 days, but no Sunday, so his last day is really Saturday. And why couldnt they have done this in the first fucking place? Oh but Im up late again tonight waiting for him to come home around 2 or 3. Fuckers...I cant wait to expose these bastards, Ill have their jobs for this...or maybe just for the other stuff...doesnt matter. I want their jobs on a pike.

Jen and I were on the phone last night till about a quarter to two discussing the new report. This social worker is something else, I tell you. Her report, the way shes written the phone conversations isnt consistant, and she breaks things up as if they were two different calls. She also leaves out very important details, like entire days, its very strange and unprofessional. For some reason, its in there about how adamant I was about her not having a rash, but remember the shoe insident? Not in there, just the "rash." Its also in there that I didnt even put the medicated cream on her and that the rash cleared up the next day on its own. Jen also sat and read this with her lawyer, and when they got to the part where "The caretaker began taking pictures of the floor saying how dirty and disgusting it was" he laughed. He aparantly had a very good chuckle that I took pictures. Kindof a "you go girl" thing. Reguarding the floor, the lawyer said that "these people dont care." Hmm. Well I sent a nice letter to my congressman about the floor, I guess we shal see what is said about that, if anything. I mean, the guy may be right and nobody may care, but my next move is alerting the media. Seriously, news stations around here literally sit quivering by the phone in anticipation for you to call and give them a story. And they love doing things like going up to houses where a bunch of sex offenders live and provoking them with their cameras. Im not out for money, revenge, or blood, but I do think that the floor needs to be cleaned every once in a while, I mean, there could be choking hazards and rotting food behind a table in there.


Nuff said.

David picked up an application for voluenteer fire fighter yesterday. Aparantly if you voluenteer first, you get more "points" on your application for fire fighter 1 or 2. We arent sure, but we think its like the reserves, where you serve so many hours a month or whatever, because he cant give up his night job opportunity (looks like hes got his foot in the door at Expensive Clothing Store.) The application asks for two refrances from "outstanding citizens in the community." HA HA HA! Ok, well here ya go cheif, heres a reccomendation from the former federal fish and game director for the county and heres one from a San Bernardino Sheriff who lives in Beaumont. Hes a shoe in for sure. Also, it wants one relitive who doesnt live with him. I told him to list my sister, hands down. Its either my sister or his dad, and his dad...well hes not great with words. He means well, but...I just think my sister could be a little more professional and helpful to his case.

"Yes, David is very responsible, works very hard, and is always willing to help me out here at my house with large projects. He is young, but he is wise beyond his years and has always been interested in helping people, and I am positive he would make an excellent fire fighter."

"Heh..yeah Ive known Dave now for...since he was born 18 years ago, a little before actually, um...he done passed me up cuz I mostly drive school busses and I worked at Mcdonnalds once...oh and I was in the air force reserves once too. We use to live over in Colorado and there was this lady who worked at the bank, her name was Jill, and she would always talk to us, and one day she said that her car broke down in the snow and she had to call AAA, can you believe that? Heh heh...yeah David is a good boy, my other sons are all either on or off of drugs, Steve is about ready for a mental instituion, boy I dont know whats the matter with him, but uh...now Fred, he lives in San Bernardino, and Matt is my step son, his wife sure is purdy. Oh but Dave...yeah he worked at Stater Brothers, he did a good job there at gettin the carts and cuttin the meat up. Hes not so good at cookin the meat though, the other day he set the steak on fire and it was all blackened on the outside but still all raw on the inside, I was like sheesh. But yeah, Dave, hes got some kids, hes married...cant remember her name, but shes got one of them 'blog' things where she writes about us alot..."

I need to call around to get my Sherriff relitives number, and its going to be fun to explain that David quit Staters and now works at the recycling center. It sounds like such a shitty minimum wage job, but its pretty sad that its actually better paying there than at Staters. I guess he met the owner of the recycling centers today, he dropped by and said that the man in charge of David said that he was doing a really good job. Woo hoo! Nice to have a company be nice to you every once in a while right? Espessally since we arent sure how long he will have to voluenteer for before he gets hired on with the FD.

But then again, he may not voluenteer, espessally if the hours arent good for him to do both that and a second job. The thing is, the second job is just for an income supplement, not to support us, so he could take his 2 days off a week, or even three from the second job and be able to voluenteer, we will have to see. If he cant, then oh well...I guess he will just take his chances with just applying cold with no experience, but a couple of excellent reccomendation letters.

I swear, these kids grew up yesterday, all of them hit milestones, they like all changed in one day. First of all, yesterday morning when watching their very educational ABC video, durring the credits when they sing the song, Rory just decides to belt out the song. It wasnt all there, but she sang along with it "A B C D E G G G G G G G G G G P! G G S T U G cdnbdf bccx djsd and G." And Wade, he has been just saying random words, like when David is putting him into the carseat he says "dont wiggle." Wade says that, not David. Oh and then on the way home from my sisters house he figured out how to undo his carseat and we turned around to find him trying to climb into the back window. We pulled over and put him back, and we are hoping that it was just a fluke and that maybe we didnt put him in right or something, and that he really isnt able to undo the carseat, because that would be a very bad thing. But he also learned to be good, and he learned to drive the cars along the floor. He walks around the house driving the car all hunched over, standing only when crossing a threshold. And Ty, well hes using alot more complete sentences. His two favorite to say are normally "Stuck in'da mud" or "Up in'da sky." Today out he came out wearing a hat that David said was cute on him a while back, and he said "Look at me mommy, I wearing the cute." That should be a new catch phrase.

"Oh honey, you are wearing THE CUTE"
"That shirt is THE CUTE"
"He said that? Oh now that is THE CUTE!"

Or should it be teh cute?

Oh and sorry, but there is no Davids World to report today, he didnt have time to write. He bought over $650 worth of glass, plastic and aluminum today, he was pretty busy. His average is $400. Doesnt that seem like alot? Aparantly it is. Oh but dont worry, he will go further in depth with the unsupervised children when he is able to sit and write. Aparantly, there are two cowboys, but they dont come together. The other one is The Leader, hes like 13 and doesnt wear quite as much cowboy gear, but he has the hat and boots and uses "sir." I asked David if the kids call him "He Who Walks Behind The Bins," and he didnt get it. Hes never seen Children Of The Corn, and I suppose if you havent either, you wouldnt get that.

Him telling me about all these cowboys reminds me of Lars. Lars was this guy we went to high school with who was also a cowboy. He had a thick accent, he opened doors for girls, he was a real gentleman. He asked me out all the time, and I always said no. He would put his hat over his heart and tell me "Youre breakin' ma heart Jessah, youre breakin' ma heart." But the next year, on the first day of school he wasnt wearing his cowboy gear. We all said "Hello Lars, wheres your hat" and he snapped at us that his name wasnt Lars, it was Mike. That year he was a cocky bastard who designed video games. The following year I beleive he ended up being one of the Magic The Gathering geeks in the library, and his name was Steven. None of us were even sure that he was a student there.

Im going to try to work on replanting some of my plants outside, upgrade everyone to larger pots and what not. Oh and COPS is on...I love this show...

Current Temp: 68

Current Mood:

(just as I suspected, its actually spelled lettuce...I knew it didnt look right at 3:00 in the morning...)

Sue made it a point to mention my use of the word "dead" when describing perished food. She made it sound like the french fries use to be alive and crawling all over your arms and stuff before they were left in the heat of the car where they soon expired. Actually, when I refer to dead food, dead soda, or anything like that, I simply mean that its sort of "out of comission" or "retired." French fries that you eat are mostly crispy, probably recently cooked, and do the delici-dance on your taste buds. French fries that sat in the car for a few weeks and you discover under a carseat are not so good, and I dont reccomend eating them.

See also: Dead Cheerios under the china hutch
See also: Dead brocoli left on the highchair in the cracks of the seat
See also: Last nights noodlie side dish still in the pot in the sink.

Dead food.

Another question that pops up sometimes is something like what Dawn asked, "How did you make that picture like that?" Also, "How did you make it all sparklie?"

I may have answered this long ago, Im not sure, but to recap, I use Jasc Paint Shop Pro. I know that people favor the Adobe, but I dont. I know that Adobe has its strong points, but Jasc has things more to my liking, such as the fact that you can undo (ctrl + z) as many times as you wish. Something that I dont believe Adobe has. Jasc runs for about $100, but their website is giving a discount and you can get it for $79. I got it for free. Dont ask me how, and NO it is not bootleged or stolen, I kindof got it the same way that I got an admin account at a very large cable company (and that is where I host my music files that you hear playing on my blog if youre in IE.) This answers part one about the images, Ill get to the animation in a sec.

With Jasc, I can make cool pictures, like this...

And this...

Since these are the two most commen ones that actually have steps to them, Ill write down the steps. You may not understand this, and this may not be the official way to do it, but this is how I do it. For the first one, the picture of the handsome young fire fighter carying a damsel to safety, this is a cut and paste thing. I took a picture that I had of David looking to the side. He was actually looking the other way, so I mirrored that picture. Then I cut out his face, resized it so it was just about the right size to fit under the helmet, copied it, then layered it on to the photo. Then with the girly, she was a blonde, and Im using a new technique that I learned with the hue brush where I can change the color to a target color. Im still learning that one, so thats why the hair is REEEEEED instead of red.

Pic #2 is a little different. I make two copies of the picture, and I make one of them greyscale. I use the color photo and cut out the car, then copy it, and layer it on to the greyscale pic. Simple as that...I think.

As for the animations, youll need Jasc Animation Shop. This isnt hard really, it just takes a few minutes. This animation here...

is only 3 frames. In Paint Shop, I make a little regular old picture using a cool font to type "Davids Doll" onto an invisible background. (Ctrl +A and delete.) Then I have to dig through my glitters, which Ive collected and split into seperate frames. Ive collected my glitters from a few places. Then I use the paint bucket to fill in the letters for the first frame, copy it, then paste it onto Animation Shop. I go back to Paint Shop, undo everything I filled, then go back and fill it with the second frame of glitter, and so on. Most of my glitters are 3 or 4 frames, but sometimes theyre 7 or so.

Im not really good at explaining these programs, so if you have further interest, you should not consult me. I will only mislead you.

Another question that everyone is kindof scared to ask, and I have answered before, is "is it real." With the existance of Wade, its one of those questions that people tiptoe around, including my nurses in the hospital. Im talking hair. The truth is, I dont know what my hair is, I think its secretly red though. When I was a kid, it was like Ty's color. Then it darkened, and I decided to dye it lighter. Then I bleached. Then I went highlighter yellow. Then I made a HUGE mistake and went red. This is sort of how it went through high school...

(cereal killer, 10th grade Halloween)

(Vermilion chick, 11th grade, glowed under a black light)

(Senior year, long and red and right behind ya)

Ok, well after I got tired of the red, I tried to go blonde. It did not go blonde. Infact it turned even more red. Its been like that for years. Legend has it, that if you have red in you at all, that red dye will pull out those highlights and make your hair forever crimson. Is this true? Well, you tell me. This is the color that I use to dye my hair.

Heres how it turns out on me.

So basically, the red is from a bottle. But without it, I just look like one of those washed out red heads? Its gross. But it comes out like this every time, and Ive been dying "red" with blonde coloring since I was 19. I dont know what to call this other than a sign that ya shouldnt be messin with the calar that gaaad gave you! Yoo should thank yer lucky staars you even have a heeed for haaair to grooow an.

Either way, thats my story and Im stickin to it. Ive blinded you with science, its poetry in motion, but it answers some questions. If you have any more questions to ask me, you can either leave a comment or email me, and I will answer them when Ive run out of ideas.

Tune in tomorrow for what David calls his new screen play, "Children Of The Cans." Its about all of the little unsupervised children who come recycle at his shack. Youll meet Demorious, a 7 year old from the apartments next door, age 9, Sugar Snatcher, a 7 year old who recycles and begs him for candy and always has green or blue lips from a previous popsicle, the Mexican Pygme Clan, and even Lil Buckaroo, who is 7 and dresses like a cowboy...like...down to the spurs and boots. All of these kids exist, and none of them have parents. Strange.

Austa...